How did it happen? How did our universe collide? I have no idea and I’d like to know. How come or why… with the numerous outburst of stars we could have collided with, we were the ones who bumped into each other? I would like to know.
How did my universe, who had previously known very little colours, had an outburst of rainbow, bright, and glittery colours after that encounter? How?
And so it happened. That day when I met you, my life changed. It was as though your sheepish smile caught my heart. It was as though watching you from afar, playing your favourite sport, gave my broken heart a spot to heal. What was that about you that I found so charming about? Was it the way you articulate your words, your plethora of words, or perhaps, the way you discuss about deep topics many had refrained from discussing? Till now, I still don’t know.
I was young, perhaps too silly to understand love. So I thought you were love… or that was love.
When you left, the feeling was funny. People asked if I was sad, I said no. People asked if I wanted to run to you, I said no. People asked if it was a huge relief, I said no. What is it then?They enquired, again and again. I said, nothing. Really nothing. When you left, I felt nothing.
I went home and stared at each corner in your place or…my place that you used to hide to playfully scare me. I imagined you there, with your perfect face and playful eyes, staring at me as though I was oblivious. I stopped and thought about how far I had come from when I first started. How miles away you were from us. Tears didn’t well up in my eyes like I wished it would. It would have been better if I could wail like a baby. Emotions was so justified in a situation as such. But I couldn’t. I had no idea how… or why. I just stared…and stared. It was as though when you left, you took my memory and my tears.
Days passed. From time to time, I forgot you were gone. Sometimes, I caught myself, scanning for you, trying to remember where you could be hiding. Sometimes, I had that funny thought you could be at my doorstep, knocking, saying you were sorry. But you didn’t.
Since you were gone, I indulged myself in a lot of chocolates, ice cream, late-night talks with my best friend, self-improvement classes, meeting new friends and reading. I also buried myself in endless, impossible thoughts about the memories we had. I had always felt guilty for forgetting them.
Then one day, you stopped haunting me. I looked at the sky we shared, hesitated a while, and finally, waved my last goodbye. I haven’t written about you for quite a while since we first met. And so here I am.
I just want you to be happy.
I will be. With all my heart, I will be, and I thrive to be.
How did it happen? I don’t know. Sometimes, the universe does work in a very strange way.