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changed

I dreamt of you last night.

I can’t deny from time to time, I still miss having you around. And I’m sorry that I’m writing all my feelings down on this public space. A lot of me really want to be heard. I think broken feelings are meant to be shared, to be listened to, to be cared for.

I dreamt of you last night.

You said you were coming back and you couldn’t wait to see me. I only have 2 days with you, hurry now. I heard you say. I quickened my footsteps and suddenly the setting shifted and I was at our favourite hiding. I didn’t see you there and instead, I saw my own broken reflection. That girl in front me, she looked so tired, exhausted, crazy and abnormal.

I reached out to her but she never did. Her eyes were filled with tears, I could hear her silent scream. So loud and so deafening. I shouted back, begging her to stop.

“Girl, that’s you. That’s you right now. That’s how you are right now,” she shouted.

“No…No… No…..” I pleaded, “It isn’t me. You aren’t me. I’m not that way.”

I woke up.

Everything felt so real. I scrambled for my phone. I thought, God knows it could be real. You could have flown back to see me.

Nothing.

But with this dream I realized,

life is meant to be broken. And I never miss the girl I was when I was with you. 

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