Today, I am 24.
I’ve wanted to write something happy, something about my birthday celebration but I’m overwhelmed by other thoughts so I guess that will be for another post!
This morning, while thinking of my age, I learnt a few things about myself…
I have morning routines now.
I don’t recall having one previously but I do remember reading books about women who do. For instance, one must have her cup of coffee every morning, read her favourite book or spend her morning in silence, praying or meditating. For me, my morning routines now include brewing a cup of green tea, scooping spoonfuls of greek yoghurt and watching inspirational youtube videos… every damn morning.
It’s hard to also believe that I hated greek yoghurt but now, crave for it every morning. Before, I was also always on the go, skipping breakfast and waking up really late. Now, morning is like my haven. I love and must have my morning, together with all my habits.
Starbucks is my travel buddy.
Now when I travel, it becomes a must to visit this no-stranger coffee place. Now, I know Starbucks vocabularies and even have my own customized favourite drinks. I know a lot of people who can never do without Starbucks but never really understood it until recently. With frequent travels, I now appreciate the joy of hanging out in a familiar place in an unfamiliar city. Thank you, Starbucks.
I let loose.
Growing up, I was sheltered, loved in a conservative way and most importantly, always had rules to abide by. In my early twenties, the world seemed to be a blur. I didn’t know how to let loose. Dancing in my room had felt like a forbidden act. Being happy had felt wrong and I was always chocked with guilt for wanting to have fun, to smile and be happy.
Was my family wrong then for their upbringing? I truly reckon that. My parents have done all they can to raise me the way they think I should be raised. They have focused, mostly on respect and seniority, but that do not make them a bad parent. It was my thought that having fun means you are “bad” or “wild” that had made me almost too conservative for my own good.
So I let loose. I let myself dive and explore the endless possibility of being an outdoor girl… or even to just dance. One time, I laid on the grass for the longest time and sniffed (all I can), the fresh morning dews found on the tip of each green leaf. I have also once chilled on a huge rock, basked under the sun with my favourite story book. I have let my naked feet touch the dirts of soil. I have walked barefoot on the street of Quebec City… Oh, few months ago, I finally stepped into a club for the first time… not a fan of loud music but I let loose… of course, still consciously know my limits.
I realized I want to do more. I want to be more.
And the only way to be more, is to relax, enjoy nature, be happy, be myself and dance or sing whenever I want and wherever I am.
I have no expectations.
No expectations from the world, friends, strangers, and people. I guess having been disappointed quite a few times made me realize that it’s not their fault that I’m disappointed. It’s my fault for putting high hopes on things I’ve idealized. Now, I have no expectation for anyone. If they treat me well, I’m beyond grateful. If they do not, I’m not disappointed.
I am now conditioned to converse with others with no expectations. The more I meet people, the more I realized I can never understand their stories, and the more I should observe them with empathy and with a great pair of listening ears.
I love the outdoors.
Lighthouse Park, West Vancouver, BC
I’m not sure how I morphed into an outdoor girl. I’m pretty sure growing up, there was a distinctive separation between me and dirts. Not that I’m a hell, good friend with dirts… I still like things clean at my place. I still shower right after a good, sweaty hike. But the more I explore, the more I fall in love with nature. I want to camp, I want to hike and explore beautiful mountains. I want to capture hard-to-capture sceneries with my camera.
My current goal is to take advantage of the bike lanes in Vancouver and cycle as much as I can when the weather permits.
Looking back, I’m grateful and thankful. I’m excited for my future and to reach my set goals. Being 24 isn’t that bad after all and I certainly can’t wait for a great year ahead. Thank you everyone who has wished me and thankful for all my good friends. You know who you are! *Wink