(Scroll to the very bottom for my Fuck-It-All Theory or read my ramblings while you sit in your comfortable chair with your favourite drink.)
I think the hardest part for me, especially recently, is knowing my self-worth more than having the confidence to do what I love perfectly. I cannot deny that for the past few days, I question my own being, the person I am and wonder if my dream is actually too high. I thought perhaps I was trying to reach for the stars when I can barely see the sky. I thought maybe, I thought too highly of myself, thinking I am capable of being a somebody when I still am a nobody.
It took me a week of googling and reading people’s answers from Quora to realize this one very important thing – realizing my worth.
Realizing my worth then adds up to a lot of things but mainly the points below:
1. I deserve to be loved and respected
I deserve to be treated with love and be respected as much as I respect and love the people I’ve met.
2. I need to learn to love myself
To know myself and to love myself as much as I love my dreams, my work, art and my best friends. To love myself so much that I learn skills and improve on myself because I want to not because people told me to.
3. I have to surround myself with positive people
Negativity kills. It takes up your energy and slowly drowns you. Negativity makes you sick and being with negative people will slowly kill you. I need to shut negative thoughts and be more grateful.
4. Learning what really matters in 20 years (or even 5 / 10 years)
I should remember that…
My destiny is never affected by people who hurt me or disappoint me. my destiny is in my hand. I am the one who can destroy them or make them.
In 20 years, do all these really matter?? If it does, work on it. If it doesn’t, fuck it. Which brings me to this theory…
5. The Fuck-It-All Theory
I shared this theory with Mel one night. The Fuck-It-All Theory is an easy to follow theory that focuses on only worrying on what is truly important and not on what others think because truly, they don’t really matter. The Fuck-It-All theory requires an ample amount of effort, understanding, concentration and a constant reminder to Fuck-It-All.
The Fuck-It-All theory does not mean you don’t care. In fact, you do care but you care because you truly do, not because someone told you to. The FIA theory requires you to say f-it whenever you worry too much or overthink a situation – which obviously never ever helps you solve the effing problem.
The FIA requires you to…
One: Return to point 4 (question the triviality and mediocrity of the situation or problem)
Two: Figure out the amount of time you’d spend dwelling on a problem you have no solution for at this time.
If you realize after One and Two that it (the issue) will be a huge thing even after 5/10/20 years, the FIA theory requires you to abandon the theory and immediately launch a mission to devise a solution.
However, if it isn’t, the FIA theory requires you to quickly learn how to fuck.it.all – which also means, breathe, find your next best solution and dwell on it no more. To summarize, here’s a quote I found online:
“Some days you just have to say ‘fuck it, I did what I could today’ and just let go of all the stuff you wanted to do. Life is too short to be angry with yourself for being a human.”
The FIA theory can also be renamed to “Forget It All Theory” if you think it’s too vulgar for your own sanity and mind but I thought the word, “f*ck” emphasizes a strong desire in you to simply chuck those unnecessary thoughts that are polluting your mind and you can finally say, yes, I shall fuck it all. This will then help your body release endorphins, promoting emotional joy, happiness and richness in mind.
The truth is, you can only and finally focus on things that truly matter when you can breathe and affirm yourself that you are going to say fuck it all to things that don’t ever matter.
I hope this post is also a reminder to you who are reading this to realize your worth, do what you love, focus on what really matters and aim to be the best version of you… all because you want to not because they’ve told you to.