My Pursuit of Happiness…

A while ago, someone posed a question about my “all smiles” and “happy” behaviour. He asked me these three questions.

  1. Why am I always smiling?
  2. If the world is going to end will I still be grinning from ear to ear?
  3. If I knew that the majority of people in the world are not happy.

His questions further triggered my laughter and I ended up chuckling loudly – I think I found it amusing and somehow surprising that being happy has become a rarity and perhaps, you might say, an anomaly. This short conversation then probed me to question my own happiness and I spent the next few days reflecting on my behaviour and being conscious each time I am feeling happy or perhaps just extremely positive – which nowadays I would say, almost everyday. I realized then happiness is simple. Being happy is an easy, relentless equation. And here are why I am always (:)…

I am counting my blessings.


I realized that I am overly and extremely blessed. I have more than what I need each day. Everyday, I wake up with a pair of eyes, two legs and two hands. I am able to get out of bed and walk (or sometimes drag my feet) to the bathroom. I am blessed with true friends that I can count on, who can be there for me. I have my family that I can reach out to albeit being so faraway. I have brothers. I am doing what I love. I have endless amount of books I can read. I have time to do what I love – I am beyond blessed.

Now, my blessings might not be yours but we all know one thing – if you are reading this now, you are truly blessed because you are still alive – and life is something we share and hold on to so dearly.

I empathize with others (or at least try to)


Black, white, yellow etc.,… at the end of the day, we are all humans trying to feel, to give, to reach our own goals, to love, to be accepted and to lead a life we desire. Realizing this very essence of life allows me to be more forgiving, understanding, patient and finally, I become very…very empathizing. While I try to focus on my goals, I realized whatever people did, do or are doing – even if sometimes they are hurting me – is because they are just plainly trying to reach theirs. It has nothing to do with the person I am. It has everything to do with their mindset and thoughts.

I let go of my ego


The ego that makes me believe that I am the uttermost important. The ego that makes me so full of myself that I refused to let people say anything bad about me. The ego that I constructed that is in fact, false. I let go of my ego and accept I have made mistakes, I am still making mistakes but I am here to learn from and work on them.

Believe that there are greater things ahead


I once read a quote by C.S. Lewis: “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” It is such a beautiful and meaningful quote and one of many motivations to keep on pressing and improving myself. I learnt to trust in the future that everything that I don’t understand will fall in place in its own time.

Being helpful


Not trying to brag… but one thing I noticed recently is that helping someone or at least making an effort to has ended up uplifting my mood instead of just easing their problems. It is not about being “useful” but rather, I feel like at least even for a tiny bit I have made a difference in their life and that thought has made me feel good which then I supposed transpose to being happy.

So then to answer his questions:

  1. Why am I always smiling?

I guess it’s just an Audrey thing. I can’t help it sometimes I don’t think I even realized it.

2. If the world is going to end will I still be grinning from ear to ear?

I don’t think I’d be laughing hysterically but I think I’d try as much as I can to be positive, to stay calm because finally, I know I am going to die and that leave me with two choices:

a. Freak out and get all stressed out watching the world crumbles down in front of my eyes.

b. Stay calm and choose joy and maintain a positive emotion because I am going to die anyway.

3. If I knew that the majority of people in the world are not happy.

Nope I didn’t know that. But I have never really abide by the norms of society anyway. I mean so what if they are not happy. Do I have to be unhappy? Besides, like my answer for question #2, I have to live a life whether or not I am happy. So again, I could choose to live like a. With a monstrous emotion or b. Be happy. I think the latter always, always works.

So what is happiness? 

To summarize, I personally think it’s about realizing your blessings, being grateful, accepting your flaws and learning to let go of your ego.


Sometimes, you just gotta let go and let God do His thing. 


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