I grew up with this notion of life – that since life is hard, everyone would be equally nice to each other – but I learnt recently that not everyone is nice. We are all victims to our own experience, hurt and eventually we become more and more wary whom we give our uttermost human service aka kindness to.
Believe it or not, accept it or not, we are all money driven one way or the other. We rush to work every weekday or sometimes, on weekends because our work offers income. This income brings food to the table, allows us to spend and live the life we desire.
But what is exactly the kind of life we want? Is life about dwelling a contented, three-story bungalow, driving our dream car or being able to travel everywhere we could without worrying about how much we are going to spend? Or is it about everything listed and more?
Could we unconsciously be vying for power? We want the power to control and the power to make decisions because we are simply too tired listening to the higher-up.
Whatever they are, we thrive to reach those life goals. We take every step we can. We measure every risk we can possibly think of.
Our “dream” life then makes us a goal eccentric individual, which means we cannot be nice to everyone. We have our loved ones and dreams at stake. Selfishness then becomes a necessity.
I reflected on my experience with humans and my countless interaction with every one of them during my travel and coincidental bumps.
I now understand this sad yet powerful thing about humanity – that we can never be 100% kind to each other – yet at the same time, we have to be kind. I now understand this truth as a beautiful paradox.
We have to be kind. But we cannot be too kind.
So where do we draw the line?
Honestly, I still have no idea how. For multiple times I’ve crossed the line I drew and too many times I have retreated and moved two steps back from the same line.
But what I know for sure is the brutality of listening to your gut feelings – not necessarily following them. They somehow already know what you want, what you don’t want and potential catastrophes you might have brushed off.
I emphasized listening not necessarily following because we would never actually fully follow our gut feelings. We simply don’t have the guts too. It is too scary, risky and what if our feelings ended up being wrong? So I don’t coerce obedience towards my instinct anymore. Listening works much better.
In summary, I learn that the perception of life then is not about being right or wrong. It is also not about being rich or poor. Neither it is about living a balanced life. Rather, it is about being entirely certain that sometimes, life just happens to kick you in the butt and throw you up in the sky – we just have to enjoy this beautiful paradox one day at a time.
“My heart is at ease knowing what was meant for me will never miss me, and what misses me was never meant for me.”