A Beautiful Paradox

I grew up with this notion of life – that since life is hard, everyone would be equally nice to each other – but I learnt recently that not everyone is nice. We are all victims to our own experience, hurt and eventually we become more and more wary whom we give our uttermost human service aka kindness to.

Believe it or not, accept it or not, we are all money driven one way or the other. We rush to work every weekday or sometimes, on weekends because our work offers income. This income brings food to the table, allows us to spend and live the life we desire.

But what is exactly the kind of life we want? Is life about dwelling a contented, three-story bungalow, driving our dream car or being able to travel everywhere we could without worrying about how much we are going to spend? Or is it about everything listed and more?

Could we unconsciously be vying for power? We want the power to control and the power to make decisions because we are simply too tired listening to the higher-up.

Whatever they are, we thrive to reach those life goals. We take every step we can. We measure every risk we can possibly think of.

Our “dream” life then makes us a goal eccentric individual, which means we cannot be nice to everyone. We have our loved ones and dreams at stake. Selfishness then becomes a necessity.

I reflected on my experience with humans and my countless interaction with every one of them during my travel and coincidental bumps.

I now understand this sad yet powerful thing about humanity – that we can never be 100% kind to each other – yet at the same time, we have to be kind. I now understand this truth as a beautiful paradox.

We have to be kind. But we cannot be too kind.

So where do we draw the line?

Honestly, I still have no idea how. For multiple times I’ve crossed the line I drew and too many times I have retreated and moved two steps back from the same line.

But what I know for sure is the brutality of listening to your gut feelings – not necessarily following them. They somehow already know what you want, what you don’t want and potential catastrophes you might have brushed off.

I emphasized listening not necessarily following because we would never actually fully follow our gut feelings. We simply don’t have the guts too. It is too scary, risky and what if our feelings ended up being wrong? So I don’t coerce obedience towards my instinct anymore. Listening works much better.

In summary, I learn that the perception of life then is not about being right or wrong. It is also not about being rich or poor. Neither it is about living a balanced life. Rather, it is about being entirely certain that sometimes, life just happens to kick you in the butt and throw you up in the sky – we just have to enjoy this beautiful paradox one day at a time.

“My heart is at ease knowing what was meant for me will never miss me, and what misses me was never meant for me.”

Know Your Worth & My Fuck-It-All Theory

(Scroll to the very bottom for my Fuck-It-All Theory or read my ramblings while you sit in your comfortable chair with your favourite drink.)

I think the hardest part for me, especially recently, is knowing my self-worth more than having the confidence to do what I love perfectly. I cannot deny that for the past few days, I question my own being, the person I am and wonder if my dream is actually too high. I thought perhaps I was trying to reach for the stars when I can barely see the sky. I thought maybe, I thought too highly of myself, thinking I am capable of being a somebody when I still am a nobody.

It took me a week of googling and reading people’s answers from Quora to realize this one very important thing – realizing my worth.

Realizing my worth then adds up to a lot of things but mainly the points below:

Continue reading “Know Your Worth & My Fuck-It-All Theory”

The Misconceptions About Letting Go

 

If I let go, they might not come back.

I disagree. Clinging onto something does not mean they will be yours or they will return. Letting go too doesn’t mean they are forever gone.

Clinging on is just a mere act of desperation. For a spur moment, you might feel secured and assured. But that’s only for a spur moment. Imagine carrying a 100000kg worth of rocks. You fear that if you let go of these rocks you might not see them anymore and they might not return…or you might not find them anymore.

But they are actually slowing you down. They are heavy, burdensome and scarring you. That’s why you have to let them go. Watch these rocks scatter on the ground as you throw them away, one by one. Start to prioritize your happiness, health and well-being. Strengthen yourself so one day, you can carry all these rocks again without them scarring you.

Letting go does not mean you will lose the things you love. Letting go is loving yourself enough to give yourself the time to heal. When you’re well enough, you’d have the strength to be anything and get anything you want.

If I let go, I’m not doing my best. 

In my previous post, I wrote about doing more than your best. Letting go doesn’t mean that you are not doing your best. Letting go means you have to let loose. It does not contradict or stop you from doing your best.

Letting go of negative emotions gives you the chance to focus on the positives.

Letting go of the things you cannot change, like natural disasters, someone else’s emotions, others’ decisions, shows you that the only person you can control is yourself. When you let go, you’re still doing your best but with a shift in emotion, feelings and most importantly, a different you.

Letting go means I’m not doing anything to make things work.

Wrong! Letting go means making things work together with the flow of universe. To let go is to believe. To create your life while feeling assured that all things work for your goodness, to prosper you and not to harm you (Quoting Jeremiah 29:11). Yes, you have to act to make things happen but you don’t have to react to things that do not happen the way you want them to. TO ACT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO REACT.

Letting go is working hard without worrying. Letting go is pursuing your dream with happiness, in a state of calmness and euphoria.

I believe letting go is a beautiful act of forgiving, loving and entrusting. I let go because I know there are things that are out of my control. I let go because I’m secure enough to work on my well-being and my happiness. I let go because I want to attract people that will build me up, not bring me down.

Today, I sincerely write this to encourage you, who are reading this to let go of things that have been holding you back. Choose to feel light, joy and happiness. Chase your happiness while letting go of the turmoils and negativities that are holding you back.

If you believe in God, trust that when you let go, you let God work His way in you. You let Him work together with you for your divine plan. You’re not slacking off. Rather, you’re working hard but sans the heavy emotions that will only drag you down.